urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878 m10878 m10878 2007-11-19T04:42:08Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:22470 2007-11-19T04:42:08Z 2007-11-19T04:42:08Z what do i do<br />to stay so true<br />ide drop it all just for you<br /><br />deep in my passion<br />deep in my memory<br />it all seesm so small<br />it seems to get the best of me<br /><br />ide kill my soul<br />to let you love<br />deep in my lust<br />i feel your sin<br />i cant take the chance to show it all<br />cause everytime i try i lose it all<br /><br />im scared inside<br />ide lie and ide die inside<br />just for you<br />ide give it my all<br />just to save you<br />cause i cant watch you<br />just slip away urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:22129 2007-08-28T04:53:43Z 2007-08-28T04:53:43Z lets leave our hearts broken<br />fill them with the pain we left unspoken<br />and these few words of truth mean nothing<br />because nothings left but memories<br />in the cold hearted murder<br />of whats left behind our eyes<br /><br />in these days<br />we feel our pain<br />fill our hearts with such emotion<br />now all bonds we made all broken<br />through the lies<br />we did we tried<br />through pain and struggle<br />raw emotion<br /><br />in the last days we travel through our minds<br />but only left to find<br />exactly what we started with<br />not a suprise that all thats in our heart<br />we can see in your eyes urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:21933 2007-08-08T04:33:38Z 2007-08-08T04:33:38Z i killed another piece of me<br />cause i thought it would help<br /><br />everything ends <br />and its always my fault<br />you always saw me <br />for what i wanted you to see<br />i never showed you<br />what you needed to see<br /><br />now im crucified in my guilt<br />and im down on my knees<br />all this blood on my hands<br />will never fade away<br />i lost everything i loved<br />and i feel it everyday<br /><br />ill pass the day<br />with a poem<br />that iv written in blood<br />because the ink wont hold <br />whats written into stone urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:21748 2007-08-08T04:14:53Z 2007-08-08T04:22:54Z hypnotized by the lies<br />cause there all i got<br />deep inside killing me<br />cause there all that im not<br /><br />all these lies and the tears<br />were all that was left<br />all these images of you <br />scarred on my chest<br /><br />i saw heaven through your eyes<br />what a suprise<br />i let it all slip<br />all that made me feel alive<br /><br />al these things that i said<br />will never fade away<br />its like an echo in my head<br />waking all the memories<br />that i thought to be dead<br />as the silence falls<br />i hear the calls<br />im all by myself<br />and this is how it ends urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:21268 2007-08-07T03:48:11Z 2007-08-08T04:21:19Z everythings racing<br />as im tracing<br />all of these feelings <br />i used to have<br /><br />now im dead inside<br />no air supply<br />you slit my throat<br /><br />and after everything<br />ive said and done<br />it doesnt mean shit<br />hypnotized by the lies<br />every one of these lies<br />i cried and i died<br />deep inside<br />but with everything you took <br />it was never enough<br /><br />now in silence i will die<br />everything i did<br />killing me inside<br />and now it doesnt matter<br />at least i tryed<br />and i cryed and i died<br />and it was all for you<br />but this big fuck you<br />is to urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:21083 2007-03-21T02:42:57Z 2007-03-21T02:42:57Z i stand<br />on my thrown of happiness<br />through the medication<br />and broken glass<br />how long<br />can it last<br /><br />half past myself<br />and inside whats left<br />of what i could be<br />to see to believe<br />what i am should never be<br /><br />tracing my open wounds<br />i call my past<br />it all fades so fast<br />what i want<br />can never last<br /><br />all i knew<br />day to day<br />wastes away<br />if i leave i die inside<br />but staying is not my paradise<br /><br />embracing our past <br /> mandates the fear of our future urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:20806 2007-02-27T00:45:07Z 2007-02-27T00:45:07Z without saying anything<br />the look in your eyes<br />told me everything<br />i ever needed to know<br /><br />without saying a word<br />laying next to me<br />got the best of me<br />turned me upside down<br /><br />on a cold winter night<br />the only thing insight<br />my everything laying next to me<br />and you would never even know it<br /><br />sitting all alone<br />slipping into a dream<br />you mean so much to me<br />i couldn't ever see<br />i never knew the way<br />you made me feel<br /><br />P.S.<br />i love you more<br />than i could show it<br />with the beauty that surrounds you<br />i could never explain<br />how you make me feel<br />laying next to you<br />with eyes closed<br />in the darkness<br />living out our fantasies urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:20582 2007-02-19T05:18:55Z 2007-02-19T05:18:55Z a blank page<br />to spill my guts<br />whats left of what to say<br />in the silence<br />the only time<br />i can see the light<br /><br />scared of my feelings<br />weather wrong or right<br />ends my life<br />instilling the fear<br />but only for tonight<br />tomorow shines<br />the light of forgivness<br />for every crime iv commited<br />now sets me free<br /><br />with time to kill<br />and no one watching<br />no one to care<br />no ones listining<br />what could i ever do<br />with no light shining the way through<br />but its nothing new<br /><br />if the soul dies<br />is there a way for the soul to thrive<br />in the darkness of what we have<br />could you change what youve known<br />if we had cared<br />would it have shown urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:20232 2007-02-19T05:03:36Z 2007-02-19T05:03:36Z emphasis on black<br />entombed into darkness<br />shimmers of light<br />shines through a hole<br />still life of a sunset<br />things that make me whole<br /><br />trapped inside<br />this still frame of hatred<br />and emotional abuse<br />this self centered hatred<br />leaves me confused<br /><br />proportion of an object<br />thats over used<br />everyones stuck in my head<br />and i dont know what to do<br /><br />embroidered in my heart<br />sealed in paved like a road<br />i shall hide my emotions<br />until i explode urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:20158 2007-02-19T03:15:19Z 2007-02-19T03:15:19Z addiction<br />love is like a sin of lust<br />emotions that kill<br />world turns to dust<br />why such a thrill<br /><br />temptation<br />eating me<br />inside to out<br />gutting me<br />screaming out<br />kill me<br /><br />the eternal feeling<br />doubting believing<br />all of these feelings<br />which kill the everythings<br />that ever mattered<br /><br />and in the end<br />would it have mattered<br />because the harder i try<br />the more i die<br />inside and out urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:19929 2007-02-19T02:32:27Z 2007-02-19T02:32:27Z im lost in this sea of emotion<br />lost but never forgotten <br />now my mind is broken<br />because i took away<br />what took so long<br />for me to have gotten<br /><br />the only thing<br />always on my mind<br />your a one of a kind<br />but its all in my head<br />what can be said<br />when ive fucked it all up<br />and now im stuck<br />on what i can never undo<br /><br />and its you<br />that made me wanna wake up<br />every morning and every night<br />just to hear your voice<br /><br />how could i have forgotten<br />the greatness of what i felt<br />but to let it all just melt away<br />put an end to whats killing me<br />would end all im living for<br /><br />all i ask is one more chance<br />i beg you<br />please dont leave me in this sea alone urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:19463 2007-02-06T06:09:52Z 2007-02-06T06:09:52Z face down in shit<br />and im starting to like it<br />thinking about what i have done<br /><br />beat like a dog<br />you threw me around<br />cause no one cared<br />and now i cant feel<br /><br />what have i done<br />and what can i do<br />all of this shit<br />is because of you<br /><br />i cant make it through<br />all of this shit<br />cause its all over<br />and what can i do<br />to make it all over<br /><br />dark and over whelming<br />what should i have done<br />to have ended it all<br />nothing seems to get through urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:19246 2007-02-06T06:03:43Z 2007-02-06T06:03:43Z you took everything<br />piece by piece<br />string by string<br />taking its toll<br />watching it all<br />slip away<br /><br />why do i try<br />biding my time<br />to try to fight<br />when everytime i try<br />i lose my self<br />more and more<br /><br />i just cant find<br />a safe place to rest<br />i torture my self<br />just to let it all end<br /><br />caught up again<br />so still i try<br />to let it all unwind<br />ending my life<br />because it doesnt matter<br /><br />theres nothing left<br />you never knew me<br />yet you watched me die<br />tore me apart<br />just to see inside urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:19133 2007-01-29T03:40:09Z 2007-01-29T03:40:09Z big blue eyes<br />dark and glaring<br />scaring the honesty into me<br />fear and compasion<br />of all that i know<br /><br />caring is an obsolete emotion<br />it brings death and destruction <br />to all that are knowing<br />these sinicle thoughts<br />run through me<br />like blood in my veins<br /><br />a broken artury<br />in a field of emotion<br />the only way to discribe<br />this pain of all knowiing<br />self hatred and pity<br /><br />self pity<br />of undying devotion<br />of hatred of all that ive known<br />and to kill my self<br />in a sence of showing<br />the only thing<br />i ever brought to me was pain<br /><br />the darkness in these eyes<br />shows self hatred only to be discribed as unknown urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:18775 2007-01-29T03:13:06Z 2007-01-29T03:13:06Z a compelling<br />unwanted silence<br />murdering my still thoughts<br /><br />the blood letting of my sences<br />leaves everything in unrest<br />this killing silence leaves nothing to test<br /><br />a new starts<br />leaves me where i began<br />2 steps back<br />from where i began<br />no where in life to end up<br />so i sit back and watch it all just end<br /><br />the silence in mid suicide<br />kills part of everyone who cared urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:18569 2007-01-29T02:02:59Z 2007-01-29T02:02:59Z this life i love so dear<br />now fills me so full of fear<br />all these tears<br />i can no longer hide<br /><br />inside burning<br />these flames of compasion<br />now for everything<br />i cant have<br /><br />demons are my memories<br />now killing<br />all the happyness i cant have<br /><br />these writings<br />keep me alive<br />my insides ripped apart<br />by uncomfortable feelings<br /><br />teasing me<br />screaming torture<br />love feels like a disease<br />my broken mind<br />kills me from ym lies<br />and now what it hides<br />scares what it solves urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:18223 2007-01-29T01:57:59Z 2007-08-10T03:22:33Z this one last word<br />will end my life<br />my one last day<br />ends with your verbal knife<br /><br />if only what we had<br />could always last<br />now im locked in my room<br />stuck on the past<br /><br />this verbal knife is killing me<br />even though im my worst enemy<br />im sry i made you happy<br />after we were done you led me on<br />even after we were done<br /><br />the sick little games i play<br />with my own little feelings<br />stuck on my own with no room for healing<br />and you sat there stealing<br />all of my feelings<br />the only thing i had left<br /><br />with this one last stroke<br />accross my vein<br />one more slice acrossed<br />ends all my pain urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:17950 2007-01-29T01:30:33Z 2007-01-29T01:30:33Z well its been a while since ive done this so will see how it goes.<br /><br />my pessimism will be the end of me<br />in loving death<br />this will all just be a memory<br /><br />love is suicide<br />ending all<br />in blinding chains<br />all these feelings<br />just drive me insane<br /><br />to think i cared<br />you threw it in my face<br />everyday i die<br />because all my feelings<br />are depressing memorys<br /><br />in this bleeding black death<br />that i call my memories<br />you shall just become<br />another unwanted piece of me<br /><br />what makes us whole<br />tears us apart<br />were all fools<br />the feelings that start it all<br />will be the ones that end our life<br /><br />incarceration of the heart<br />is suicide of the soul urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:16045 2006-03-15T03:52:19Z 2006-03-15T03:52:19Z the evil days<br />have past us by<br />slowly bitterly, as we die<br />all we ever knew faith unrested with in you<br /><br />ive seen better days<br />like the calm before the storm<br />and now its torturing me<br />cause everytime i die inside<br /><br />everyday you try<br />another part of you will die<br />and the ignorence you brought<br />lives on inside you<br /><br />and everyday i see the light<br />dying like a cinddling flame<br />and as we try are best<br />all thats left as pain<br />as we try to run away<br />the pain will stay<br /><br />day after day<br />piece by piece<br />like a masterpiece <br />as the torture and pain subsides<br />all you know dies<br />and somthing new awaks urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:15291 2006-03-04T06:21:03Z 2006-03-04T06:21:03Z good days fast days<br />take it all while its easy<br />take it while it lasts<br />dreams and memories<br />killing me day by day<br />the same od song we used to sing<br />time after time<br />i lived this lie<br /><br />so far we cry we die<br />how we lived so far<br />what else matters<br />dreams and screams<br />death awaits<br /><br />reat in peace<br />all who sing this song<br />all this time went by<br />way to fast to explain it all<br />good time bads times<br />live it up<br />drink it down<br />it makes me laugh<br />all so fast who could frown<br /><br />as darkness fades<br />to what we seem to find<br />nothing left behind<br />no one leaves this world alive<br />so live hard and die young<br /><br />as the days of old pas us faster<br />time flys by but who knows<br />if hell is on earth<br />then ide hate to see paradise<br />with an evil glare<br />smile on the holy<br />would you ever dare<br />face down the demons<br /><br />we all lived hard<br />weakness kill us all<br />so to end this dream <br />would begin a new nightmare<br />as we fade away<br />what matters in a name<br />people come and go<br />if im remembered for somthing<br />dont let me know urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:14884 2006-02-21T05:27:50Z 2006-02-21T05:27:50Z take me back<br />i wanna be in the memoeries<br />of the days of old<br />happy days <br /><br />obscured visions between want and need<br />either way what it is and what you want<br />always differnt and always the same<br />no changing the way things happens<br />for better for worse in the end<br /><br />wont we help to change<br />are future for the best<br />in ways we talk about<br />but never make the change<br />all these memories we have<br />wanna make things never change<br /><br />a new day kills are plans in life<br />a new coming of what we need to do<br />changes in life kill are dreams<br />in life so many chioces <br />who know which ones were right urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:14623 2006-02-19T05:14:53Z 2006-02-19T05:14:53Z fly tonight<br />to die another day <br />a pianful wing<br />that brings us so much pain<br />to try to fly into the night<br />but only make it so far away<br /><br />we fight we die<br />we know they cry<br />was it really worth us dieing for<br />this place called home<br />it breaks are souls<br />into what we become<br /><br />we live in broken home<br />but we live alone<br />no one seems to care<br />we need escape from this place<br />some time to disappear<br /><br />we are dieing for<br />a place where no one cares<br />we live we die<br />some people cry<br />there the only ones who care urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:13956 2006-01-30T18:00:34Z 2006-02-04T04:42:07Z the best times<br />i ever had<br />were with you<br />now all i have is a memorie<br />of what we used to do <br />all the fun we had<br />im so glad fot the time we had<br />but now everytime<br />i think about it<br />i feel sad<br /><br /><br />an empty little love song<br />i wrote you<br />that you probably will never hear<br />now everyday is a sad day<br />now that im missing you<br /><br /><br />as days go by<br />still i try<br />to move on<br />this memorie is killing me<br />making thought unclear<br />the time cant fly<br />or pass me by<br />bad dreams or memories<br />nightmares cloud my head<br /><br /><br />this is just another rythem<br />a rhyme to get me by<br />never had any potographs <br />to help me pass the time<br />as days go by still i try<br />these memories are killing me<br />yet nothing seems to work<br /><br /><br />sunnie days<br />and ays of rain<br />somtimes i just feel<br />thats theres somthing more to life<br />why do these memories<br />keep haunting me<br /><br /><br />the love i feel is so sureal<br />back and forth day to day<br />somday i must find a way<br />to cope with all this pain<br />a burning side<br />cant survive<br />love will always beat passion<br />love or lust its true enough for me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:13791 2006-01-30T03:35:39Z 2006-01-30T06:03:14Z i havent updated in a while, so i thought ide add something differnt but the same.<br />if you get some time read it man its pretty far out. bringing back that good old groovy nam protest through song maybe man. peace<br /><br /><br />crystal clear<br />empty thoughts<br />flashing lights<br />and kindling flames<br /><br /><br />the golden gates<br />so far away<br />day after day<br />the earth spins round and round<br />stealing memories<br />glimses of faith<br /><br /><br />tell me where are freedom lies<br />in these street with all these lies<br />a wartime song, with empty words<br />shed a tear for those who fallen<br />open your heart and embrace<br />your friends and enemys<br /><br /><br />in these hallowed fields<br />war and hatred<br />young and dumb<br />with bad ideas<br />carrying guns<br />and ending lives<br /><br /><br />religions with there empty faith<br />which killing brings such discrace<br />yet day to day we end those lives anyways<br />a war time melody that brings tears to are hearts<br />brain washed idiots thinking they end the crime<br /><br /><br />inoccent lives ended<br />just to make a piont<br />patriotism sayes<br />fuck with one fuck with all<br />under god and indivisble<br />country ending lives just for fun<br />look what youve done<br />look what this worlds become urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:m10878:13325 2006-01-20T03:54:51Z 2006-01-20T03:56:05Z forcful red acid<br />flows through the chambers on my heart<br />spread the wings of death<br />in comes the darkest truth<br />the darkest hour<br /><br />red skies of terror<br />black angels come in from behind<br />terror strikes in the hearts of the faithfull<br />release the tigers<br />thirsty for flesh and blood<br /><br />swooping eagle<br />dives down taking away<br />whats left of your rotting corpse<br />blackened sun rises<br />bloody bearded man walks amoung the earth<br />witha crown of thorns<br />with darkened eyes<br />spreads the truth<br /><br />of being<br />mortality<br />the human body is mortal<br />the soul forever lives on<br />a torture in which every one must face<br /><br />satan takes away your faith<br />and tears whats left of your believes to shreds<br />your state of being forever removed from existance<br /><br />terror<br />carries the cross to the hill<br />for man shall never understand<br />the sacrifice or why<br />are one and only god would sacrifice<br />his child to clean the slates of so many<br /><br />for after his reserection he said:<br /> "you worship me with your toughs but not your hearts"<br />inwhich man shall never see christ as he truly is<br />man must close his eyes and open his heart